You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.
Abuse and misery pile up when you are building and running large software systems without understanding them, without good feedback loops. Feedback loops are not a punishment. They mature you into a wise elder engineer. They give you agency, mastery, autonomy, direction. And that is why software engineers, management, and ops engineers should all feel personally invested in empowering software engineers to own their own code in production.